While I was at school this morning, a nice man called me on my cell phone and told me some of the greatest news I've ever heard in a long time.
This guy, who wishes to remain annoymous, was an employee of a development firm in Raleigh. According to him, which he assured me is true, plans are in the works to build a new mall in northern Greensboro called "Carolina Circle Mall", somewhere near Lake Brandt.
No date has been set for groundbreaking, but the blueprints say that the mall will be designed just like the original Carolina Circle Mall with 3 anchors. The rather large food court will contain not only a carousel, but an ice rink.
It will also contain an 18 screen cinema called the Circle 18 Theatres, with 7.1 channel audio with digital projection.
The anchors will be Belk, Dillard's, and Sears (in place of Montgomery Ward).
This is definitely some very wonderful news. They are taking Carolina Circle Mall and making it even better.
However, there is one other thing that I must tell you.
April Fools!!!
Well, that was probably my most thought out and most disastrous joke I've ever written. I apologize. But you have to admit, that was pretty darn good.
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
The Fake Origins of Carolina Circle Mall
I have one thing to say before I do this. Carolina Circle Comedy rocks! Also, all of this is fake.
The origins of Carolina Circle Mall date back to 1956. When the Eisenhower Interstate System started, an Interstate corridor was planned for US-29 in the Greensboro, NC area.
In the '50s, enclosed malls were new and rare and the city of Greensboro wanted to step into the future. If they were going to have an Interstate, they needed to have an enclosed mall on that route. Unfortunately, the Interstate corridor plan fell through and the mall idea was put to rest until the '70s.
Sometime in the early '70s, a farmer in Vine Grove, Kentucky somehow discovered a "Mall Seed". This unnamed farmer sold it to the city of Greensboro in 1974. With this seed, Greensboro had the power to literally plant the seed and grow a mall. If they were to grow a mall, why not grow it where they originally planned to build a mall. US-29 in NE Greensboro!
In April of 1974, the city planted the seed in a rural area off of US-29 at Cone Boulevard. It took about 2 years to grow, but the mall was fully grown in 1976 and opened on August 4, 1976.
The name "Carolina Circle Mall" means "The Mall that Circled in Carolina's Wishbook for 20 years".
The origins of Carolina Circle Mall date back to 1956. When the Eisenhower Interstate System started, an Interstate corridor was planned for US-29 in the Greensboro, NC area.
In the '50s, enclosed malls were new and rare and the city of Greensboro wanted to step into the future. If they were going to have an Interstate, they needed to have an enclosed mall on that route. Unfortunately, the Interstate corridor plan fell through and the mall idea was put to rest until the '70s.
Sometime in the early '70s, a farmer in Vine Grove, Kentucky somehow discovered a "Mall Seed". This unnamed farmer sold it to the city of Greensboro in 1974. With this seed, Greensboro had the power to literally plant the seed and grow a mall. If they were to grow a mall, why not grow it where they originally planned to build a mall. US-29 in NE Greensboro!
In April of 1974, the city planted the seed in a rural area off of US-29 at Cone Boulevard. It took about 2 years to grow, but the mall was fully grown in 1976 and opened on August 4, 1976.
The name "Carolina Circle Mall" means "The Mall that Circled in Carolina's Wishbook for 20 years".
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Slogans
In 1988, after the renovation was completed, Carolina Circle Mall had an entirely new image. This also included a new slogan which I believe was "Come and Shop Around the Circle... Carolina Circle Mall!". I've made up some more slogans for Carolina Circle Mall. Feel free to add some more.
1. Carolina Circle Mall: Have Fun Fun Fun till Wal-Mart takes the building away.
2. One lawn mower from Montgomery Ward: $1,500 One wish from the fountain: $.1 A memorable holiday walk through the mall's Christmas Village: Priceless
3. Carolina Circle Mall: Do the Hustle!
4. Does Four Seasons Mall have a Carousel? We don't think so.
5. Carolina Circle Mall: Dillard's is NOT a Skatepark!
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Too Much Carolina Circle?
You know you're hooked on Carolina Circle Mall when...
1. While Christmas shopping, you go all over the town looking for the nearest Montgomery Ward.
2. You wonder why that little carousel at K-Mart isn't located inside near Little Caesar's.
3. You redecorate your house entirely with lime green and pink.
4. You try to ice skate at the Four Seasons Mall Ampitheater.
That's all I can think of. Feel free to add to the list. I think now I'll go dig for lost neon lights along Ring Road.
1. While Christmas shopping, you go all over the town looking for the nearest Montgomery Ward.
2. You wonder why that little carousel at K-Mart isn't located inside near Little Caesar's.
3. You redecorate your house entirely with lime green and pink.
4. You try to ice skate at the Four Seasons Mall Ampitheater.
That's all I can think of. Feel free to add to the list. I think now I'll go dig for lost neon lights along Ring Road.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
More Carolina Circle Humor
I found an old news article from 1993 about the mall. It made national news! This is fake by the way. :)
Greensboro, N.C.: More reports on the national infestation of the mallrovian butterfly. The latest report comes from a mall called Carolina Circle Mall in Greensboro, North Carolina.
The mallrovian butterflies are blue and pink and are most common inside large public buildings. They seem to be attracted to the colors lime green and pink. The picture on the left was taken by an undercover reporter at the mall mentioned above. As you can see, this mallrovian butterfly is pink with a white outline. The white outline means it's making a prediction. According to the full moon that night, the mallrovian predicted that the mall will close in exactly 9 years. Like that's ever going to happen.
No matter the prediction, the mallrovian butterflies will be around the nation for years to come.
Greensboro, N.C.: More reports on the national infestation of the mallrovian butterfly. The latest report comes from a mall called Carolina Circle Mall in Greensboro, North Carolina.
The mallrovian butterflies are blue and pink and are most common inside large public buildings. They seem to be attracted to the colors lime green and pink. The picture on the left was taken by an undercover reporter at the mall mentioned above. As you can see, this mallrovian butterfly is pink with a white outline. The white outline means it's making a prediction. According to the full moon that night, the mallrovian predicted that the mall will close in exactly 9 years. Like that's ever going to happen.No matter the prediction, the mallrovian butterflies will be around the nation for years to come.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Carolina Circle Comedy
Alright, I'm a comedy lover. I'm also a picky comedy lover and I only go for the clean non-edgy jokes. I'm going to try to make some jokes here about Carolina Circle Mall.
Please note: The following report is completely fake and don't believe a word of it.
New Windows XP Virus discovered:
A new worm is going around the Internet attacking computers that have Windows XP. It's called the Carolina Circle's Kiss. It can be picked up by e-mail, downloads, or sneezing on your computer. If contracted, it will mess the color balance of your monitor up by making it look lime green and pink. It will also attack any program that uses the Microsoft Windows emblem by changing it to the Carolina Circle Crescent. Internet Explorer will be replaced with Carousel Explorer and will make you dizzy. After all of this occurs, your computer will suddenly shut off permenantly and all your hardware will crash permanetly. After proper repairs, your operating system will become Wal-Mart XP.
Top 5 Reasons Why Carolina Circle Mall Closed:
5. During a poker game between Carolina Circle Mall, Four Seasons Town Centre, and Hanes Mall, Carolina Circle Mall bet its open rights, and lost.
4. Too many people hypnotized by the circular movement of the carousel.
3. Disco died.
2. Four Seasons opened "Pie Town".
1. Carolina Circle 6 Theatre's showed the movie "Chopping Mall" one too many times.
Please note: The following report is completely fake and don't believe a word of it.
New Windows XP Virus discovered:
A new worm is going around the Internet attacking computers that have Windows XP. It's called the Carolina Circle's Kiss. It can be picked up by e-mail, downloads, or sneezing on your computer. If contracted, it will mess the color balance of your monitor up by making it look lime green and pink. It will also attack any program that uses the Microsoft Windows emblem by changing it to the Carolina Circle Crescent. Internet Explorer will be replaced with Carousel Explorer and will make you dizzy. After all of this occurs, your computer will suddenly shut off permenantly and all your hardware will crash permanetly. After proper repairs, your operating system will become Wal-Mart XP.
Top 5 Reasons Why Carolina Circle Mall Closed:
5. During a poker game between Carolina Circle Mall, Four Seasons Town Centre, and Hanes Mall, Carolina Circle Mall bet its open rights, and lost.
4. Too many people hypnotized by the circular movement of the carousel.
3. Disco died.
2. Four Seasons opened "Pie Town".
1. Carolina Circle 6 Theatre's showed the movie "Chopping Mall" one too many times.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Technically Speaking
I made this baby about a month ago. Apparently, EME Destruction Company has already clicked yes.
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